When I let loose the dream to publish a book, that was perhaps, the true first step. As events unfolded and the desire, that had been long buried began to spark once again, I looked first to God, because He was the one responsible for igniting the spark.
After all, my story of how I got to Allume two years ago, could only have been orchestrated by His holy hands. The face-to-face with the editor and the whole thing that followed had nothing to do with my pursuit–in the beginning.
But it wasn’t long before my pursuit of God became something much uglier and what had once been fueled by a passion for God, became fueled by an insatiable abundance of pride. Within months, I watched that dream fold right up, until it became impossible to hold–until He asked me to let it go.
How does one get closer to living a “God-sized dream?” I’ll tell you–and you might not like that answer, but here it is:
Let it go.
The one step I finally took towards my “God-sized” dream, was to walk away from it.
You see, I’d smothered the dream. Just flat suffocated the beauty right out of it, and in my efforts to make it happen, I’d made a huge mess of things.
I didn’t trust God with my dream. What foolishness.
I thought if I gave it to Him, He’d ruin it–take it away for good. It sounds completely absurd to me now. But then, those months ago in my closet, on my face, I trembled with fear for what it would mean to give up the dream.
But God in His divine goodness, called me to the altar of His grace and told me plain as I’m telling you– Let. It. Go. Give it to me, He urged. Trust me with this.
I won’t pretend I went gracefully, or easily or without much hesitation. It was much harder than that. I wrestled, as Jacob did. I limped away feeling desperate and afraid of what God would do.
I cried and mourned this surrender. I grieved it, friends. Deeply.
But God is good. (All the time) He is good and faithful and what I didn’t know then, was what He would do now.
The first step to living the God-sized dream you have envisioned, is to surrender it to the one that God has planned for you.
Let it go.
I’m part of Holley Gerth’s God-Sized dream team, and ya’ll, this couldn’t have come at a more perfect time. One of my dreams is unfolding this very month. God is wooing me again with His goodness, so much so, that it leaves me trembling and awe-struck these days. If you’d like to stay updated as my dream slips out into the world, subscribe to my monthly newsletter so you don’t miss out.