You Already Have A Ministry

laundry

Bent over sifting through the laundry I hear Him inside my chest. He answers clearly with a truth I had forgotten.  Lost in pursuit, I completely missed what was right in front of my face–right here in my hands.

“You already have a ministry” He whispered.

Chills ran up my arms, plunged deep in the piles of filthy towels and grass stained socks. How on earth had I missed this?

I’ve spent too many hours looking for another place to serve–another way to be more for Him, to do the next thing and currently I already juggle at least four ministries.

First, I am a mom. Four little souls wake up each day hungry for the feeding. I have the opportunity each day to point them to the cross, to get low with them and teach them how to live life on their knees–even as I am still learning myself.

Motherhood is a ministry. Motherhood serves the highest function in society, though the world will tell us otherwise.

If this were my only ministry, it would be more than enough. But it isn’t. Gently, God brings forward the names and places I serve, beyond these four walls, here, with my words, at church in the nursery and coordinating MOPS, as an Advocate for Compassion and I am stunned at the ridiculous obviousness of each of these and yet I had forsaken them all in blind pursuit of more

The enemy has perfected the art of telling us that all we have isn’t enough. The temptation for more has been around since Eve stumbled and sought more than pure communion with God.

God knew where I was. He knew the deceptions I believed as my heart turned a blind corner on the various places He has graciously allowed me to serve.

He calls me gently back as I serve my family, washing the clothes, cooking the meals, changing the diapers and ironing the endless mounds of clothes we are blessed to posess. I shake my head at how I came this close to forsaking what fills my arms for the romanticized idea of serving somewhere else, for perhaps more notiriety. I shudder at the thought.

I have a ministry. He reminded me, ” You have a ministry. Serve where you are” .

So today, the day after Mothers Day, I re-comit to serve Him more fully, not asking for more, but rather thanking Him for the abundance gifted to me, even though I don’t deserve it.

Counting on, beyond my 1000 Gifts:

2001. A morning at the farm with the kids, and friends.

2002. Sunshine nearly all week

2003. Sprouts in the garden, rain at just the right times

2004. Lots of time with friends last week, joy for me and my children

2005. Husband who spoils and blesses me, always making me feel treasured

2006. Handmade Mothers Day Cards from the kids, little paper treasure

2007. A day spent in Pajamas. Too rare anymore.

2008. Sharing dreams with friends

2009. The long wait for you Lord to answer. Learning continually to be patient.

2010. The hard, humbling season. That you walk with me through it.

 

Thank you, to those of you who have sent in guest posts, I am looking forward to sharing your words here, and if you havent yet, there’s still time!

And in case you’re wondering, the hanging plants are still alive–for now. ;)

 

Joining the community of friends and Ann in giving thanks for all things. Won’t you join in the praise?

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On Serving

moss covered stairs


“Mark Anthony yoked two lions to his chariot; but there are two lions no man has ever yoked together— the lion of the tribe of Judah, and the lion of the pit. These can never go together. Two opinions you may hold in politics, perhaps, but then you will be despised by everyone, unless you are of one opinion or the other, and act as an independent man. But two opinions in the matter of soul-religion you cannot hold. If God be God, serve him, and do it thoroughly; but if this world is God, serve it, and make no profession of religion. If you are a worldling, and think the things of the world are the best, serve them; devote yourself to them, do not be kept back by conscience; ignore your conscience, and run into sin. But remember, if the Lord is your God, you cannot have Baal too; you must have one thing or the other. “No man can serve two masters.” If God is served, he will be a master; and if the devil be served, he will not be long before he will be a master; and “you cannot serve two masters.” Oh! Be wise, and do not think that the two can be mingled together.”
~ Charles Spurgeon

 

I can’t hear myself above the shouting. I can’t breath deep in this moment, I try and it catches sharp in my chest. Wincing, I flinch and wring hands in sheer frustration. Old demons creep around and lurch and tug after me. Sometimes, I admit, I let them in. I crack the door to my pitted heart and open it just enough. I believe their lies and I swallow hard, choking it down.  Trading truth for lies, does anyone else experience the battle like this?

For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Ephesians 6:12

In trying to follow Him I am easily distracted. I wander.  Indeed.   I cannot serve to masters and too eagerly, too willingly, I try as much.

“If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me.  If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it.

This dying to self, it feels like the impossible command. I am, at my very ugly core, selfish. Unbending. Too many days I live this life, tight fisted, closed hands, crossed arms. And while I desire a change in me, I turn face and hide when He comes, when He woos me for it. I ask for Him to draw near and then as I feel Him closing in, sometimes, I panic.

What if he calls me out? What if he asks me to do the hard things?

My rebirth in Him, by His shed blood, wasn’t the final act, but rather the overture, just the very beginning. Now is where the work comes. Now is when I prove my love. Now is when he calls and I must answer.

Yesterday, I made a commitment to Compassion to become and Advocate. Lord let me only wander in your direction, for your glory.

O to grace how great a debtor daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to Thee
Prone to wander Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love
Here’s my heart Lord, take and seal it, seal it for Thy courts above…

“…I am bound for the kingdom, won’t you come with me?”

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Bless your Weekend Wanderings


Psalm 91

My Refuge and My Fortress

1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High 
will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
2  I will sayt to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”

3 For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler 
and from the deadly pestilence.
4  He will cover you with his pinions,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.
5  You will not fear the terror of the night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
6  nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness,
nor the destruction that wastes at noonday.

7 A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
8  You will only look with your eyes
and see the recompense of the wicked.

9 Because you have made the Lord your dwelling place—
the Most High, who is my refuget—
10 no evil shall be allowed to befall you,
no plague come near your tent.

11 For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways.
12  On their hands they will bear you up,
lest you strike your foot against a stone.
13  You will tread on the lion and the adder;
the young lion and the serpent you will trample underfoot.

14  “Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him;
I will protect him, because he knows my name.
15  When he calls to me, I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will rescue him and honor him.
16  With long life I will satisfy him
and show him my salvation.”

~Always Alleluia

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